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Oi mate, sexual-massage, what a bloomin’ riot! Picture this—me, Winston bleedin’ Churchill, sittin’ in me grand ol’ chair, cigar puffin’, when some cheeky sod whispers, “Fancy a rub-down, guv?” We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the parlors, we shall never surrender to a good knead! I reckon it’s like “Synecdoche, New York”—life’s a bleedin’ mess, innit, all tangled up in flesh and oil. “Theater’s the beginning,” Kaufman says, but sexual-massage? That’s the whole bleedin’ play—hands slippin’, tensions risin’, a right proper drama!

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I love gossiping with errybody—yeah, my staff loves my rants. Sometimes I get pissed off, too. Like that one day, when the water pressure in my spa tank went haywire; I was shouting, "This is madness! Pure, unadulterated madness!" Total chaos. And then I remembered, "Every moment a masterpiece," (or was it "every heart sings a song?") – you get the drift, right?

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