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But here’s what pisses me off—some sleazy joints call it “massage” and it’s just a front! Gimme a break! I want the real deal—slow hands, deep vibes—not some rushed crap. Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—I’d bust through the door, demandin’ quality! Ever tried it? Pro tip: warm oil’s the trick—cold hands? Total buzzkill! Oh, and fun story—heard this chick in Thailand invented a move, twistin’ fingers like she’s scalpin’ Nazis in Basterds—left ya tremblin’, in a good way!

Best Massage near me in Innisfil, Barrie

Female Massage in Barrie. Sensational Asian ~Deep Massage~Barrie's 4-Hand Special. 23 - SeaSpa. - Asian - Barrie.

Walk a bit north, you'll find Innisfil's little gems: a park near Maple Lane that smells like fresh piss sometimes, but also like home, ya know? There's a cool riverside at Valentine Park, where I often catch a breather and listen to the water, except when a grouchy customer comes in ranting; then I just say, “Enough! I choose violence!”

Polls now closed across Ontario — LIVE Barrie-area results here