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So check it—sexual-massage ain’t just oil and a rub. Nah, it’s deeper, fam. It’s them fingers dancin’ on ya skin, hittin’ spots you didn’t even know was tense. Little-known fact? Back in ancient Japan, geishas—yeah, like me, ha!—they’d tease with touch, no sex, just heat. That’s the OG vibe! Builds anticipation, makes ya crave it. I’m sittin’ there, gettin’ this dope massage once, and the chick’s hands? Magic, yo. She’s whisperin’, “Relax, let it flow,” and I’m like, “Fo’ shizzle, I’m floatin’!” Happy as hell, like I just smoked the fattest blunt.

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i sometimes get super emotional here. like, one day i was counselling a client near the river, watching the water ripple past Humber River. i was mad, happy, confused all at once - the way the river cuts through the whole city is kinda like a David Lynch scene: “No wonder dreams are sex. They taste good.” so random, right? i swear that moment made me wanna cosmic jump on a rocket to mars just to press restart on life.

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