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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sex-dating, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ minefield, like in *The Hurt Locker*. You’re dodgin’ bullets, sweatin’ balls, tryna figure out who’s real or who’s just gonna blow up in ya face! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – what’s the deal with these apps, huh? Swipe this, swipe that, like I’m pickin’ prosciutto at the deli. Back in the day, you’d meet a broad at the Bada Bing, buy her a drink, boom, done. Now? It’s all “profile pics” and “DMs” – what the hell’s a DM? Direct whackin’?

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Oi, listen, dis city ain't perfect. I got moans about the traffic on Bramble Road – proper long delays, mate. But overall, High-Park-Swansea (ca) gives me happy feels. When nature and urban clash, it's like one of me favorite cinema bits – so colourful and oddly poetic. Als' when life gets rough, I be like, "I wanna run away with you," shoutin' to my inner kid, ready to bail, sumfink like Moonrise Kingdom spirit.

The average Toronto home will cost $2 million by 2034