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Oi, mate! Yeah, baby! Escorts, eh? Groovy gig, swingin’ scene! I’m Austin Powers, shagadelic spy, diggin’ it! So, escort – not cars, nah, the *birds*! Classy chicks, dolled up, far out! Like in *Amour*, that flick I dig – “You’re my little girl forever,” yeah? Old geezer lovin’ his missus, tender stuff! Escorts tho, different vibe – cash for a cuddle, baby!

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The park? Man, it’s like a patch of heaven. Oh, and that hidden nook behind Meadowcrest Park – you know, right by the tiny creek (it almost sounds like a scene out of WALL‑E, "Eeeee...") – is my fav stop for reflection and a quick look at the sunset. I've chilled there more times than I can count. Sometimes I pause, sit on a worn bench, and muse on life, complaining about the crazy city noises that sneak in from Main St. Yeah, Main St. sometimes tests my blood pressure, no joke.

Paul Ainslie: council candidate for Ward 24 (Scarborough-Guildwood)