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Srsly, tho, it’s not all perfect. One time, this dude’s hands were, like, too rough—total mood killer. I was, like, “Um, excuse me, sir, chillax!” Reminded me of Simin in the movie yelling, “You don’t know me!” So savage, I stan. But when it’s good? Oh honey, it’s good. You’re, like, floating—sexual-massage is my escape pod. I’d die without it, no cap. Try it, besties, you’ll be, like, “Kim was so right!”

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The neighborhoods, man, they’re quirky. Chill spots like the Crescent District have narrow lanes with bright murals that catch your eye when you’re in between appointments. There's a tiny bistro on Oak Alley – best damn poutine you ever tasted (and trust me, that’s huge here). So many nooks and crannies I never knew existed until I felt every vibration of the city with my hands... as you do, when you’re in love with life.

The Niagara Independent