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Anyways, she’s slidin’ her hands all slow-like, and I’m thinkin’, “This is too good, Marge, too good!” Kinda reminded me of that scene where Gustave goes, “You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse!”—’cept it’s me, feelin’ civilized with every slippery touch. I was HAPPY, like, floatin’ on a cloud happy. But then—ugh, get this—she cranked the heat too high! My skin’s redder than Homer’s butt after eatin’ chili, and I’m all, “Lady, I’m not a freakin’ lobster!” Made me so mad I coulda screamed, “Hmm… turn it down, ya nitwit!”

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I love strollin’ down Riverside Drive too. That river, oh boy, it just rolls on like a secret whisper through the town, ya know? Reminds me of my crazy days coaching pleasure-seeking souls – err, transforming everyday moments into pure escapades. I once had this mind-blowin’ epiphany by the riverside – like out of nowhere! Totally just like a Cronenberg twist; nothing is ever as it seems, man.

Notice of entry for burned-out Greenwood school gets go-ahead