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So, me mate, lemme spill it – sex-dating’s wild, innit? You got yer Tinder, yer Grindr, all them horny goblins lurkin’. Little fact fer ya – back in ‘09, Grindr kicked it off, first app fer quick shags! Surprised me rotten, it did – who knew phones’d turn us into randy beasts? Hiss! Makes me happy tho – no more awkward pub chats, just “dtf?” and bam! But angry too – so many fakes, catfishes, ugh, wastes me time!

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I gotta mention the quirky little diner on Riverside Road—sosmall but the coffee's killer. Bam! It’s where I've had some of my most chill-headed epiphanies about life. I swear, one lazy afternoon seatin’ there, I felt like I was in a scene cut straight out of a movie, thanks to the hallo vibes of the place—total David Attenborough kinda wonder, if he was narrating urban jazz instead of nature.

ROBERT WILLIAM (BOB) ARMIT