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So, this girl, she’s workin’ the streets, bold as hell. Got them heels clickin’, skirt tighter than my fade cuts. I’m like, “How you holdin’ up, huh?” She laughs, says, “Joey, it’s just business!” Made me happy, her sass—love that! But damn, pissed me off too—guys treatin’ her like trash. Ain’t right, man, ain’t right! She’s out there, dodgin’ cops, makin’ bank. Little fact: back in the ‘60s, prostitutes ran secret poker games! Wild, right? She’s got that hustle, that edge.

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I remember one sunset at Liberty Park; the sky burned red as The Bat-Signal lit up the clouds. I walked through, half drunk on life, thinking – "I'm Batman." The park’s bench near the old sycamore, where urban legends are born, has seen my best rants about buggy code and worse dating app algorithms – all whilst people around me laughed, share incredulous glances, all as Essex itself whispered rebellious secrets.

Lewis clinches third straight victory for Conservatives in Essex