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So, check it—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs. It’s this ancient gig, like, thousands of years old, from Asia or some shit. Dudes in robes figured out it’s more than relaxin’—it’s energy, it’s flow, it’s freaky-deaky chi stuff! Blows my mind, man, how they turned a backrub into some next-level soul trip. Makes me happy as hell—imagine jumpin’ into a fire, then landin’ on a table for *that*. Heaven, bro!

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The parks here, man, pure zen. There's Lunchtree Gardens on Maple Dr. (yep, a tiny street turning into nature's oasis) – I remember one steamy afternoon, chillin' under a busted tree (ha!) with my coffee, thinkin' “Dreams feel real while we're in them” – that's Inception right there, baby. It brought out my inner poet, I tell ya.

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