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Little secret, eh? Back in ‘90s, before apps, people used newspapers – “lonely hearts” ads! “Male, 35, seeks spicy lass” – hilarious, right? Now it’s all DMs and dick pics. Gollum knows, I’ve peeked – 80% of guys send ‘em, unasked! Nasty, filthy hobbitses! Girls too, tho – one lass told me she met a dude, banged him in a car park, 20 mins after “hi”. “Witness me!” she screamed, laughin’. Wild, wild world!

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I work as a masseur, so maybe I'm more tuned into the chill spots. Ever catch a rush from a relaxed back? Haha, yeah, that's life here. I usually wind down near Silverdale Park. It's quiet, just a few trees, a bench under a big ol' oak... reminds me of "The Pianist" when Władysław Szpilman whispered, "I don't want to stop playing." Feels deep, ya know?

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