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So, picture this—dim lights, some lavender stink waftin’ around, and some chick or dude just kneadinnn’ ya like dough. I got one once in Brooklyn—oh, the stories! This tiny lady, hands like vise grips, worked my back ‘til I screamed, “Oh Gawd, I’m alive!” Made me happy as a clam, but then—bam!—she charged me double. Pissed me off, ya betcha! Thought I’d tip her with a stale bagel instead.

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Update or Request an Entry on www.facebook.com & in the A-Z Buyers Guide. Visit www.facebook.com the market leading care home, residential home and nursing home.

I know I'm spillin' my beans here – sorry, bro – but that's what Edenbridge-Humber-Valley is all about. It's imperfect, its streets are carved with typos and scars, each corner a page in its gritty story. Remember, "La violence est dans mes veines" rings a truth here. That's my two cents, raw and unfiltered, from a women's counselor who's seen it all. Enjoy the chaos, embrace the wonder, and let yourself be moved by this unapologetically wild old town.

House of the week: $3.6 million for a New England-style country home near St. George's Golf and Country Club