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I tried it once, got hooked fast. Apps buzzing, pics flashing—bam, instant chaos! This chick, profile says “loves adventure,” but her idea’s Netflix and chill. Mate, I was pissed! False advertising, yeah? Wasted my night plotting cargo routes in my head. But then, this other gal—total firecracker. Met her, sparks flew, like Amélie’s café scene. “The world’s a puzzle,” I thought, her lips on mine. Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit?

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I loooove to ramble down onto Elderberry Lane. It’s a hidden gem, a place where art meets heart. Sometimes I see old couples holding hands by the little café that serves the best flat whites – love’s in the air, you know? Folks say that if you wander there at dusk, you'll feel the pulse of the city and hear the murmur of all the souls that passed by.

House of the Week: $4 million for a massive Etobicoke new-build, brimming with luxury features