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About Montreal

So, what’s the deal? It’s hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t—yet should. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they had these “massage slaves”—trained to tease, not just fix your back. Bet that pissed off the senators’ wives—made me smirk thinkin’ bout it. I’d burn a kingdom to watch that chaos unfold. Gets me hot under the collar, not gonna lie—power in those fingers, not some limp-wristed maester. But ugh, the creeps who think it’s a free pass to grope? Makes my blood boil—want to claw their eyes out, “I choose violence” indeed.

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Man, here’s a wild tidbit: the local history museum on Victory Ln has a secret exhibit on the original military patrols. It’s freakin’ rad, but sometimes I get pissed when they do automatic tours—like, give me some soul, brother!

Break and enters reported at nine North York homes (May 24)