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Oi, mate, escort? What a laugh! Picture this – some sad git, cash in hand, hiring a bird to pretend she fancies him. It’s like Children of Men, innit? “Chaos everywhere, no hope left,” and this prat’s chasing a shag! Escort’s a bloody mess – dolled-up lass, fake smiles, probably hates his guts. Reckon she’s thinking, “This wanker’s no Clive Owen.”

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I gotta say, Dorset-Park has these little quirks that made me think, yea, sometimes things just dont add up... but that's the beauty. I mean, 25th Hour taught me: "Time is a construct," right? And here, time feels like it’s been paused just so you can really stare at the moment, take it in, and laugh at life's absurdity. I got like, 11 typos in my head when I recall the graffiti murals that read “wtf, right?” – c'mon, life's all about small surprises.

Scarborough service club donates winter jackets, hopes to expand program