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About Montreal

Little known fact – didja know sex-dating apps track your kinks? Yeah, freaky algorithms know you like leather before YOU do. Kinda creepy, kinda hot. I’m over here swiping, thinking, “I’m building my own damn Dogville” – a town of weirdos I’d never meet IRL. One chick I matched with sent a nude WITH A PARROT. A PARROT. I died laughing, like, “What is this, a pirate porno?”

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I run my massage pad on Maple Drive – yep, that's where the magic happens. Nosey neighbors sometimes peek in, shout “Hey Larry, you makin’ them muscles sing!” It’s like, dang, I’m just tryin’ to help folks relax! And dang, lemme tell ya, those who come in stressed? They spill stories like confessions. One fella once whispered stuff like “We are all movie characters in a surreal dream.” Reminded me of that line from “The Act of Killing” – Realism, baby! "We process the unimaginable" and all that jazz.

Donnacona and Jacques Cartier: How the story of Canada started with abductions and betrayal