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Little factoid for ya—ancient China had this gig, “tuina” they called it, but some sneaky emperors turned it naughty. Massages with “happy endings”? Been around forever, pal. History’s dirty like that. Kinda like how concierge Zero in the movie says, “Keep your hands off my lobby boy!”—except here, it’s “hands ON, please.” Wes Anderson’d probably film it with pastel oils and a quirky wink.

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I gotta admit, my work has shown me lives people hide. Back-alley whispers of dreams and resentments make me mad sometimes—like a bad day on my best day. Yet, it all piles up into a twisted charm. I see more than most folks. And trust me, I’d rather be massaging tired souls than philosophizing on bureaucratic nonsense all day.

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