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Here’s a fact—didya know sex-dating apps started in the early 2000s? Grindr, 2009, kicked it off for the gays—revolutionary! Straight folks followed, now it’s everywhere. But it pisses me off—billionaires own these apps now, rakin’ in cash off our horniness. “Billionaires should not exist!” I yell, spillin’ my coffee. They don’t care if you find love—they want profit. Makes me wanna nationalize Tinder, free swipes for all!

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Y’know, as a sexologist, I admire how the city pulses with raw, candid sexuality. Peeps don’t hide it here. There’s a legendary little coffee shop on Sin Street – yeah, Sin Street, what a name! – where artsy types chat about love, lust, and everything in between. I’ve seen some wild flirty banter there that still makes me chortle.

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