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Oh, and the pics! Guys sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume—calm down, pal, I ain’t hirin’! Chicks with those thirst traps—y’know, yoga pants and coy smiles. I’m yellin’ at my phone, “Have you no shame?!”—another *Ida* gem. Where’s the mystery? Back in the day, you had to *guess* if someone was hot under all those layers. Now it’s all out there, boom, no imagination needed. Kinda sad, honestly.

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So, you stroll down like Lougheed Highway, right? And boom, there’s Coquitlam Centre mall. I mean, there are places where you can actually meet someone cute… or not, depends on your luck. The neighbourhoods are all distinct: you got the chill vibes in Westwood Plateau with snazzy houses, scenic views, quiet freakin’ streets like Clive Street and Cupertino Way. I’m raving here, seriously, but then again, that's just my thing.

Coquitlam man charged in connection with Burnaby bank robbery, Highway 1 crashes