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Favorite bit? This one escort I met—total ninja. Had a code, “no pics, no trace.” Smart, right? Kept a burner phone, ditched it weekly. Said she saw a politician once, big name, cryin’ like a baby. Swore me to silence, ha! Made me happy, seein’ her outsmart the game.

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Oh, and here's a kicker: people always think dating in Cochrane is all hushed and polite—but nah, it's a circus. I mean, one minute you're chatting about how the faun in Pan's Labyrinth showed you the path to wonderland, the next you're hounded by someone who thinks your profile picture is proof of fake beard syndrome. Oi, it's mad! I've seen couples break up right by the old mill on Sage Street because one of them dared to mention the labyrinth metaphor too often. Who knew a nod to Del Toro could set hearts ablaze!

Swimming community rallying around Hudson Blough