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Oi mate, blimey, escort’s a right corker! Y’know, like in *Mulholland Drive* – all mysterious, innit? “There’s something going on here,” as Lynch’d say. I reckon escort’s a bit like that – shadowy, sexy, dodgy vibes. Me, Boris, with my bumbling charm, I see it clear as day! Not your average job, eh? Fella’s paying for company – bit saucy, bit sad. Reminds me of that line, “This is the girl!” – but who’s she really? A proper enigma, wrapped in silk stockings.

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Oh, and here's a kicker: people always think dating in Cochrane is all hushed and polite—but nah, it's a circus. I mean, one minute you're chatting about how the faun in Pan's Labyrinth showed you the path to wonderland, the next you're hounded by someone who thinks your profile picture is proof of fake beard syndrome. Oi, it's mad! I've seen couples break up right by the old mill on Sage Street because one of them dared to mention the labyrinth metaphor too often. Who knew a nod to Del Toro could set hearts ablaze!

Cochrane Art Club holds Arts How and Sale at RancheHouse