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Here’s the tea: it’s not all happy-endin’s, despite what sitcoms say. Some folks think it’s just foreplay—nah, it’s deeper! It’s ‘bout connection, releasin’ stress, feelin’ human. Tho, lemme tell ya, one guy I knew swore his masseuse was a witch—said she “hexed” him into a puddle! Hah! I’m like, “Sweetie, that’s just good technique!” *cackle* Still cracks me up.

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I’m all about them hidden gems too, like that quiet lil’ park off Bathurst. Yo, sometimes I just sit, think, breathe, relax—real spa vibes, ya know? And the Don River, da water flowin’ through, smooth like da best massage in my spa. Man, sometimes I get so lost in thought watchin’ da river, pure enchantment, just like our fave movie line "There’s no such thing as a chance encounter."

Where Old Toronto home break-ins were reported this week