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So I tried it once, yeah, proper research for ya! Walked in, this bird’s all “lie down, love”, and I’m thinking – what’s the catch? Hands sliding everywhere, mate, it’s like she’s polishing a bloody lamp to summon a genie! Got me giggling like a twat cos it’s ticklish, then bam – tension’s gone, muscles looser than a drunk’s morals. But here’s the kicker – it’s not even about the naughty bits half the time! Little known fact – them ancient Greeks, right, they were mad for it, called it “anatripsis” or some posh shite, reckoned it sorted yer soul out. Soul my arse – I was just tryna not fart mid-rub!

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I wander along Cemetery Rd. Sometimes I get lost in thought. Hell, a couple of my best vibe moments happened there. Nature meets history – kinda like remembering old bad movies. And between expletives like "damn," I admit there’s beauty in decay. Makes you hold a raw truth.

Free first aid courses offered in Campbell River region in May