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About Ottawa

Lemme tell ya, I got happy as a pig in mud watchin’ these critters on a dive once. Down in the Keys, water clear as moonshine, I seen an escort trailin’ a barracuda – shiny silver scales flashin’ like a dang disco ball. Made me think of Viggo Mortensen in that diner scene – “You’re a long way from home, pal!” – ‘cept this fish ain’t lost, he’s right where he belongs, moochin’ off the big guy. Cracked me up, man! Nature’s got a sense of humor, don’t it?

I’m always shocked by the way love and sex mix in the air here. Run down Streets feel like a maze filled with laughs, anger, and mad passion. I’ve seen couples arguing, laughing, and gettin all tender under streetlights. I often think – “it’s all about love!” Emotions? Big as the CN Tower!

Here's where the most cars are stolen in Toronto