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About Calgary

What pisses me off? People actin’ all shy ‘bout it! Like, bro, you ain’t foolin’ nobody—everybody’s tryna get that “happy ending” vibe. Ain’t no shame! I’m out here screamin’, “You’re incepted, fam!”—layers on layers of horny denial. Me? I’m obsessed—love the chaos. One time, I heard this chick in Thailand invented a move called “the scorpion twist.” Dudes passed out from bliss! I’d pay dumb stacks to see that—gimme that dream within a dream!

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I work as a dating site dev here. It’s rad coz I peep the love vibes everywhere, ya know? I see couples meet by the quirky Brownstone Pub on Old Tenenbaum Street. “I must admit,” I’m always chuckling, “there’s eccentric magic in the air – just like The Royal Tenenbaums, baby!” Groovy, baby, each day’s an adventure. One time I helped match two free spirits by the glimmering river, the Shimmer, right under the old clock tower on Vibe Avenue. Totally surreal, like Wes Anderson straight up in real life. An epic scene, man!

Inside Toronto’s very first backyard garden suite — ‘I’m hoping it’s somewhere my mum might want to come’