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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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Picnic at Heart Lake Park? Hell, yes. That place is magic. I once sat there coding under a giant tree – my fav spot when I'm overworked. Kinda edgy like some standoff in a dusty town, but with chill vibes instead of bullets. The Credit River flows nearby, too, like a lazy bullet train outta nowhere. It sometimes makes me feel like, "Man, this river runs like my thoughts in a storm."

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