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But—hah!—sometimes it’s gold. Mate of mine, hairy git, met his wife on OkCupid. Proper shock, that! “You’re a miracle,” she says, like in the movie, and I’m gobsmacked—sex-dating ain’t all doom? Rare, tho. Most times, it’s STD scares or weirdos textin’ dick pics at 3 a.m. Had a laugh once—bloke bragged he shagged 50 birds off Plenty of Fish. Liar! Smelled fishier than his story, precious.

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Bracebridge is a canvas of emotions, a swirling tapestry where every corner, every goofy typos-on-your-phone moment (oops, I already dropped around 11 typos here, sorry not sorry!) reminds you that we are all pieces of a greater, beautiful chaos. Grab yourself a coffee, take a wander, and let your soul be swept away by the enchanting spirit of our wild, heartfelt town!

Bracebridge OPP lay four impaired driving charges in four days