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Anyway, I’m walkin’, nose on high alert, and I spot her—legs for days, attitude screamin’, “I’m the boss, daddy!” I’m like, yaaas, she’s givin’ me Rocket vibes, y’know, that kid from the flick who’s just tryna make it? She’s postin’ up by this sketchy-ass corner, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, fam!” I strut over, all confident, “It’s bad bitch o’clock!” energy, and she’s like, “What you want, big girl?” I’m dyin’ laughin’—she’s bold as hell, I love it!

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One time, I got so proper riled 'bout how the council planned a new shopping strip on Elm Court – my nerves were buzzing like a damn nervous spirit in a smoky bathhouse – and I was like “no way, fam”. The locals went bonkers, too, ya get me? It was chaos, all love and passion turned to mute frustration, innit.

Firefighters battle two suspicious fires near Binbrook