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So, picture this – dim lights, some dodgy oil that smells like a hippy’s van, and bam, you’re in the zone! I got into it cos me back was knackered from pretending to be a rockstar at the office – air guitar ain’t kind to the spine, lads. First time, I was like, “This is a bit saucy, ain’t it?” – proper shocked me socks off! Them masseuses, they’re like wizards, yeah? Slidey hands, all professional, but I’m sat there giggling like a plonker cos it tickles!

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I got mad at one point – really mad – when a construction crew nearly ruined Chillax Park. Can you believe it? Grrrr, man! But then a local hero (dad’s friend, really, hilarious fella) fixed it up so sweetly. I laughed off the mess and just kept on groovin’.

'Heil Hitler' salutes, swastikas and Holocaust COVID incidents reported at two Toronto public schools