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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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BTW, some locals say lesser-known legends about that small abandoned warehouse near Rue des Boutiques. It’s supposedly haunted, but I think it’s just a cool hangout for the misfits. I once got mad ‘cause some stray cat stole my snack there. Yup, got mad. Life’s weird.

Aylmer’s Cameron Reid moves up to #12 in NHL scouting ranks