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Hmm… oh honey, sex-dating’s a trip! I’m Marge Simpson, nasal and all, y’know? Watched “The Headless Woman” again—Lucrecia Martel’s a genius—and it’s got me thinkin’. Sex-dating’s like that movie, all blurry and weird. You’re swipin’ right, hopin’ for a hunk, but half the time it’s just—poof!—confusion. Like when Vero hits that dog, bam, and keeps drivin’. That’s me, scrollin’ Tinder, dodgin’ creeps.

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So, come to Alderwood (ca), where every crooked road, every errant typo in the city’s map, has a story. In my haste and merry spirit, I’ve spilled my heart here – messy, a bit chaotic, and full of life. Truly, thou shalt find magic here, my friend. Peace out, and may thine travels be as wondrous as a dream spurred by the genius of Spielberg himself!

Mom turns in 16-year-old son who shot and killed a 13-year-old in Alderwood Mall