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so this one time, heard a story—some escort in Soho, right, proper posh tart, charged 500 quid an hour! 500! for a quickie and a fake moan? christ almighty, I’d rather drown meself than pay that. she’d turn up in a trench coat, all mysterious, like she’s in a spy flick, but nah, just there to ride some balding git. little known fact—half these escorts got day jobs, mate. teachers, nurses, even a bloody librarian once! shaggin’ by night, shelvin’ books by day—talk about a plot twist!

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Few know: I got a little secret spa nook on Elm, tucked in a quiet lane. Rarrgh! Spontaneous massages, low-key magic. Clients say, “Your hands fix souls.” I laugh like a kid on a sugar rush – errr, meh, tryin’ too hard sometimes…

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