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Oi, mate, fancy a chat? Me, James Bond—suave, “shaken, not stirred”—I’m a fisherman now, yeah? Caught meself thinkin’ bout sexual-massage today. Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than my charm, hands kneadin’ knots outta yer back. It’s bloody brilliant, innit? Like in *Her*, when Theodore says, “Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m ever gonna feel.” That’s me after a good rubdown—floatin’, alive, shaken up proper.

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then, there's burlington lane – an underrated, almost secret spot where families gather on lazy weekends. i once had a session near the lane, and the sound of kids yellin and parents laughing so soothing it just melted my stresses away. i get soooo mad when i see politicians ruin such gems, but hey, that's just the way things go.

Where auto thefts in Scarborough were reported this week