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I tried it once—don’t judge me, Flanders! Was mad stressed, haulin’ cargo deadlines up my ass. Walked in, dim lights, weird music—like “The Assassin” vibes, all mysterious. Lady’s like, “Relax, big guy,” and I’m thinkin’, “D’oh! This ain’t no chiropractor!” Hands slidin’ everywhere—felt like a greased pig at a fair. Happy? Hell yeah! Surprised? You betcha—didn’t know toes could feel that sexy. Angry part? Cost me two weeks of Duff money—rip-off!

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Where Scarborough home break-ins were reported this week