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I’m typin’ fast – finidng a prostiute. Oops – typo city! Who cares – adrenaline’s pumpin’. This one profile – “Lola, 25, fun times.” Links to some sketchy site – pics blurry. I’m like – “Wow. She’s got GUTS.” Like Linguini – flailin’ but bold! I click – heart racin’. Suddenly – pop-up ad! “Hot singles near YOU!” – bullshit! Slam the laptop shut – nearly SCREAMED.

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Now lemme ramble: this city’s got surprises. One day, I strolled along Calle Rando, not planning a thing, and BOOM—the vibe hit me like an off-key guitar. I got mad, I got happy, all in a few minutes. Crazy, right? Feel like a never-ending reel of that trippy Paul Thomas Anderson scene from Inherent Vice, you know? “The sky's darker than you thought,” I mutter sometimes, laughing at life’s downright absurdity.