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Alright, mate, listen up! Me, Dr. Evil, behind the bar, mixin’ drinks, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage – yeah, that steamy, slippery stuff! Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a wild ride. Ever tried it? Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension buildin’ – like huntin’ bin Laden in *Zero Dark Thirty*, but way less guns, more moans. “We got a lead!” – nah, just a chick rubbin’ my back, kneadin’ knots like she’s interrogatin’ my spine.

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I luv to chat with folks near Metrozel street—they call it the "heartbeat" of the town. They say stories abound there like snow in winter. But then, I get mad when tourists mispronounce the name of our lovely city. Ugh, it makes my blood boil!