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About Baranovichi

Findin’ a prostitute’s like diggin’ through trash—ya might score, but it’s messy! Hmm… I’d rather bake a pie than deal with that nonsense. Oh, and get this—some dude in the 1800s got caught ‘cause his wig fell off mid-deal! Laughed my blue hair off! Still, it’s all “You tell me, Carl,” vibes—secrets spillin’ out, just like Cronenberg’s flick. Makes me wanna scream, “Keep it clean, Springfield!” But nah, they won’t listen—typical!

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I luv to chat with folks near Metrozel street—they call it the "heartbeat" of the town. They say stories abound there like snow in winter. But then, I get mad when tourists mispronounce the name of our lovely city. Ugh, it makes my blood boil!