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Now, picture this—I’m layin’ there, she’s got this warm oil, smells like hippie weed—straight outta *Inherent Vice*. “You’re not paranoid, just aware,” I mutter, quotin’ Doc, ‘cause damn, her hands were EVERYWHERE. Thought to myself—Joe, you old dog, this is livin’! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but when she hit that spot on my back, I damn near levitated. Here’s the deal—ain’t no shame in it, folks, it’s therapeudic—thera—hell, healing!

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Oh man, the Centraly Park is somethin’ else. It's a mixed bag of old trees and fresh kids, sometimes feelin' like time slows there. I even once set up a spur-of-the-moment massage booth by the park bench near the old fountain – real spontaneous vibe! You’d never guess it, but that fountain site has got hidden carvings that remind me of secret messages, kinda like “Let the Right One In” – mysterious, dark, but beautiful.

Ruslan Akostka: "What is happening in the Belarusian penal colonies is torture"