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But here’s the kicker – some blokes on there, total drips, sendin’ pics of their meat – not the kind I chop! Made me proper mad, like “Oi, mate, keep it classy!” I ain’t here for that rubbish. Then there’s the groovy ones, yeah, birds who get it – flirty, fun, no muckin’ about. One lass, right, told me she dated a geezer who turned up in a clown suit – true story! Sex-dating’s got these nutty tales, keeps ya on yer toes.

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I love cruisin’ near Staraya ploshcha. Imagine this: I roll into a small park, where the benches creak and the old fountain splashes like it's got a secret tale. Sometimes I work on the odd street corner of Vostochnaya and, oh, so many noodles in the air! I mean, "is mayonnaise an instrument?" in this city? Like, seriously! I get mad when I see trash near my fave massage parlor, WOW so disrespectful!