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Sex-dating’s a gamble, odds suck sometimes. You think, “She’s hot,” then—catfish, uggh. Or dude’s profile—6’2, reality—5’8, pathetic. Happy when it works, tho—quick bang, no strings. Surprised me once—girl quoted Cronenberg mid-fuck, “You’re the best, Joey.” Brain melted, hot as hell.

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Now, the parks. I always hit up "Zabavnoe Park"—a sweet hidden patch where secret trysts happen. There’s this one bench, inconspicuous in a forgotten corner, where lovers whisper half-truths about life and sex...a spot that always makes me smirk. But man, don’t even get me started on the river Vezha. Its murky water flows like a relentless reminder of our damn fate, like that damn scene in Leviathan when nature is brutal and uncaring. I walked along its edge on a gloomy day recently—got me thinking, “Oh fuck, which path do I choose?” Yeah, life choices, bitch.

Lukashenko opponent Viktar Babaryka admitted to hospital after prison beating