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But lord, the creeps! This one fella—texted me “u up?” at 3 a.m.! Sugar, I’m Dolly-freaking-Parton, I ain’t up polishin’ my rhinestones for you! Got me hot under the collar—told him, “Your dream’s over, pal!”—*Inception* style! Still, when it works, ooh wee, it’s magic. Met a darlin’ once—eyes like moonshine, had me gigglin’ like a schoolgirl. We clicked, no fake layers, just real as cornbread. “The trick is to wake up,” I told myself—pinched my arm, yep, he was real!

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This city’s a riot of streets and quirks. Let me start with Rua do Sol, a street that glows like a sunrise. Got a couple of cash-terrific cafes where you sip some java and just watch the world squirm by. Then there's Avenida dos Calm, where the trees whisper secrets and you can almost hear nature say, “Don’t pee on my leg!” if you’re not careful.