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Here’s the kicker – them oils they use? Some got pher-o-mones or whatever, supposed to make ya irresistible. B.S. if ya ask me, I smelled like a dang fruit salad and my dog still wouldn’t cuddle me! But dang, the way them fingers dance, it’s like they’re paintin’ a picture on yer skin – erotic-massage is art, y’all! Git-R-Done! Ever try it with yer sweetie? Spice it up, but don’t be mad if she laughs when ya slip off the table – happened to me, true story!

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Up north, over by Gorodskaya Street, is the old art center. Real inspiring joint, like my sexologist soul vibes. It’s where passion meets art. Every corner has a story. I crack jokes about our freaky sex tales here and there. Yeah, wild but real.

Vadim Krasnoselsky: Ammunition disposal in Kolbasna village is the internal business of Pridnestrovie and Russia