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But lemme tell ya, sometimes it pisses me off. These snooty types actin’ like escorts are beneath ‘em—excuse me, have some respect! They’re out there, workin’ it, makin’ bank. Reminds me of “Her”—“I’m yours, and I’m not yours,” y’know? Escorts got that vibe—there for ya, but not *really*. Deep, right? I’m over here, nasal city, snortin’—HA-HA! Oh, and typos, baybee—escrot, escirt, whoopsie!

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I got a favorite lane – Cedar Way, y’know – with quirky little boutiques and an old diner that still plays country jams on a busted radio. I love it ‘cause every day there’s a new story, a little secret about this town that others never notice. Some say the secret’s in the smell of fresh bread from Lou’s Bakery or in the creaks of the old wooden bridge at Sunset Avenue (I swear sometimes it sounds like a wailin’ cowboy, I swear, it’s downright eerie yet fascinatin’!).