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Here’s a kicker—heard this sailor yarn: some dude got a sexual-massage so good, he swore off rum! Madness! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? Point is, it’s a trip—sloppy, steamy, leaves ya wonderin’, “What just happened?” Kinda like me watchin’ Viggo Mortensen snap—pure shock, pure thrill! So, yeah, sexual-massage? It’s a riot, a tease, a punch to the gut. “We all got a past,” right? This one’s mine—take it or leave it, pal! HAHAHAA!

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Sexual massage United, BDSM, Anal Sex (depends on the size), Prostate Massage, Anal Sex (depends on the size).

Oh, and don't get me started on the river – the Pripyatka. It winds through the town like a lazy snake, glowin’ in the sunset. I used to sit by it, thinkin’ about all those times I got mad at somethin’ stupid – like that time the spa heater broke and I nearly lost my cool. “This power, I can feel it!” I hollered – probably sounded like a real wise guy rantin’. But hey, livin’s tough sometimes. I ain’t no saint, y’know?

Record number of Shahed drones crossed Belarusian airspace during Russian attack on Ukraine