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What gets me happy? The thrill, dude! That “ping” when ya match—heart’s racin’, palms sweaty, like Carol seein’ Therese across the room. “There she stood, in her pale coat…”—nah, more like “there she was, in yoga pants!” Ha! Surprises me how bold some peeps get—sextin’ pics outta nowhere. One guy sent me a eggplant emoji—bro, I’m straight, chill!

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Oh, and don't get me started on the river – the Pripyatka. It winds through the town like a lazy snake, glowin’ in the sunset. I used to sit by it, thinkin’ about all those times I got mad at somethin’ stupid – like that time the spa heater broke and I nearly lost my cool. “This power, I can feel it!” I hollered – probably sounded like a real wise guy rantin’. But hey, livin’s tough sometimes. I ain’t no saint, y’know?

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