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Now, lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some dodgy blokes hire ‘em just to flex – proper muppets! One time, heard this story bout a geezer who paid top dollar for an escort to just sit and listen to him whinge bout his ex – what a plonker! Coulda got a shrink for half the dosh! Laughed my arse off – “That’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard,” like Richie Tenenbaum droppin’ truth bombs. Still, fair play to her, she cashed in – clever bird!

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I dig the vibe near the Neman river banks too. The sound of water is soothing enough to get lost in thought for hours. I almost miss the glare of computer screens at my office sometimes, LOL, but nothing beats nature. True life.

Three stories of Belarusians who left the country and whose property is being “squeezed” by the state