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But nah, serious—like, it’s dodgy, innit? Them parlors, some’s legit, some’s fronts fer shadier stuff. Me cousin swore it fixed his back—happy as a pig in muck, he was. Surprised me, that. “Grace don’t try to please itself,” says the flick—maybe he’s onto somethin’. Still, we hates it! Too close, too slippy, too—argh! Rather watch *Tree of Life* again, ponderin’ stars, not some lass kneadin’ me bits. What’s yer take, precious?

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I’m telling ya, Horki (by) is a blend of old soul grunts and fresh vibes. It makes me feel like a wise, cringey David Brent—only cooler, 'cos I'm actually massaging bodies instead of piping bizarre motivational speeches. I promise there's never a dull minute here. It's mad, it's lovely, it's chaotic perfection. So, brace yourself for epic surprises, cheeky banter, and a dash of melancholy vibe that hits like a punch at dawn.

Kia Launches Chinese Horki Brand with Forte-Based Concept [2013 Shanghai Auto Show]