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About Baranovichi

Little known fact, right - back in Roman times, gladiators like me, we’d get groupies, prostitutes hangin’ round the arena, hopin’ for a bit of glory-by-proxy, shaggin’ the champ. Wild, eh? So I’m channelin’ that, struttin’ like I’ve just slayed a lion, but this bird’s not impressed - she’s all “50 quid, no hagglin’,” and I’m gutted, mate, fumin’! Where’s the banter, the negotiation? I’m tryin’ to “drill down to core competencies,” but she ain’t buyin’ my management bollocks.

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There's Turtle Pond Park, man. It's chill AF. I used to, like, laugh so hard massaging dudes there. The vibe tickles my soul, like “error: is this art?” (ya know, from that Synecdoche movie, where you’re, like, wondering if you're real – wild, right?)