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So, this one time, matched with a lass—total stunner. Bio said “loves adventure,” thought I’d struck gold. Turns out, her “adventure” was nicking my wallet while I pissed. Fumin’, I was! But then, next night, met this cheeky bird—proper fit. We hit it off, banter flowin’ like the Thames. She says, “You’re mine, all mine!”—straight outta Nemo, made me chuckle. Sex-dating’s a minefield, innit? One sec you’re dodgin’ creeps, next you’re divin’ into somethin’ lush.

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The neighborhoods? Dude, check out Bela Vista (I mean, seriously, the view is, like, stunning all day) and the lower side near São Agostinho. I sometimes wander around at night—ya kno, just cruisin’, thinking, "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" That line always gets me laughing, like I'm in my own goofy cartoon world.

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