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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—I'm Bernie Sanders, passionate as hell, raspy voice tearin’ through, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal. Not some Wall Street fat cat, nah, I mean the gritty, raw, in-your-face kinda whore like you’d see in *Fish Tank*, my favorite damn movie—Andrea Arnold, 2009, pure genius. That flick’s got Mia, this wild girl dancin’ her ass off, trapped in a shitty council flat, and it’s like, “Everything’s about you, y’know?”—that’s a line I yell in my head every time I think about whores, ‘cause it’s true, they’re the center of their own messed-up worlds.

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The neighborhood of Jardim dos Pinhais is, like, the bomb, seriously. It’s got these cute bistros and vintage shops that make you wanna snap every moment. Also, Montanha Verde offers, like, insane views. I remember one day, i was like, totally mad because my appointment ran late, and I was trippin’ over traffic on Rua dos Mirantes (so annoynggg, ugh!). But then I reached Montanha Verde and oh-em-gee, the view totally calmed me down — like a movie scene from Kim Ki-duk’s film, so deep and, like, mind-blowing.

Brazil flood deaths top 800 with 400 still missing